Psychol Babble:
Battlefield Earth Movie

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    "You haven't endured pain till you've seen Battlefield Earth." -- Washinton Post

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    "Outside of marching on Washington in Nazi uniforms while burning crosses and clubbing baby seals, it's hard to think of a worse way to recruit converts than to subject them to this surreal atrocity..."

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    "Drag queens might like this movie...."

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    "... this lumbering pile of shit to the silver screen...." -- Seattle Weekly

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    "There are only so many ways you can say a movie sucks."

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    "dim-witted slag heap of cinematic detritus"

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    "Maybe the problems with 'Battlefield Earth' can be traced to the nose plugs John Travolta wore in the film. He couldn't smell the stench."

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    "A million monkeys with a million crayons would be hard-pressed in a million years to create anything as cretinous as Battlefield Earth. This film version of L. Ron Hubbard's futuristic novel is so breathtakingly awful in concept and execution, it wouldn't tax the smarts of a troglodyte. And when it comes to star John Travolta's performance, well, hammy William Shatner's hairpiece is more convincing." -- Washington Post's Rita Kempley

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    "Battlefield Earth gives 'disaster movie' a new meaning." -- Hud Nordin

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    "This is how the world ends. Not with a bang, but with a stinker."

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    "THE GREAT THING about 'Battlefield Earth' is that you can leave at any time."

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    "In the year 3000, human beings will be almost extinct, but hair extensions will be plentiful."

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    "Let's get the boring obituary stuff out of the way first. "Battlefield Earth" doesn't just pass away. It dies. It swigs the Ebola virus as mouthwash during its first turgid, apocalyptic, Planet-of-the-Apes-pilfered minutes, then spends two hours convulsing and frothing on screen until you want to stuff a pillow in its mouth and say: Enough already."

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    "But for now... BATTLEFIELD EARTH is a log of shit. Look only if you like to stare at shit."

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    "See, Scientology does destroy lives." -- Steve G.

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    In Battlefield Earth, the world is almost devoid of human life, much like theaters after word gets out on this dud.

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    "It looked like it was edited with a weedwacker."

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    "Movie's Gay!"

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    "You don't watch it, you survive it." - Denver Post

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    "I have seen thousands of bad movies in my life, and I think I can easily say Battlefield Earth is one of the very worst by far. Much worse than Congo, much worse than The Haunting, much worse than Batman and Robin[...]" -- OhTheHumanity

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    "Battlefield Earth should be shown only at maximum-security prisons when a prisoner is tossed in solitary for bad behavior." -Filmcritic.com

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    "Battlefield Earth is like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time. It's not merely bad; it's unpleasant in a hostile way." -Roger Ebert

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    "Battlefield Earth has the feel of a movie made by a precocious 8-year- old with access to too many leftover costumes from Clan of the Cave Bear and Star Trek: The Next Generation." - Citysearch

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    "Sitting through the summer's first monolithic monstrosity, Battlefield Earth, was one of the most painfully excruciating experiences of my life." - Sacramento Bee

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    "And after about 20 minutes of this amateurish picture, extinction doesn't seem like such a bad idea." -NY Times

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    "Kevin Costner should send a thank-you note to the producers of Battlefield Earth because they have single-handedly eclipsed the memories of Waterworld and The Postman for post-apocalyptic bombast." -Fox News

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    "At about the one hour mark, a portion of the audience split the scene and I don't blame them. They were fed-up with being taken for complete and utter morons." -Jam! Showbiz

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    I don't remember feeling physically ill after seeing a movie before.

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    "Battlefield" Earth makes "Waterworld" look like a masterpiece." -- Los Angeles Times

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    "The painting used to represent the ruined city is so obvious, I kept waiting for one of the ships to crash through the canvas."

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    "Still, everyone on the screen was a pagan, thank God, with not a Scientologist in sight."

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    "Itís a battle to not walk out"

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    "... there is a God and His name is not L. Ron Hubbard."

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    "I chose to take my wife to Battlefield Earth." -- Raptavio

    "So when's the divorce?" -- Roland

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    "Battle for your refund!"

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    "'Battlefield Earth' is synonomous with ugly. It's the 'Battlefield Earth' of web site designs. Ugly, stupid, unnecessary, and insulting to the viewer's intelligence." -- Ron Newman

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    Q: What's the difference between Battlefield Earth and a turd?

    A: Turds don't cost 80 million dollars.

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    Q: What's the difference between Battlefield Earth and a train wreck?

    A: People look at train wrecks.

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    "OK. Now, what did Mr. Hubbard say about hate?" -- Mike O'Connor

    "A hell of a lot more than he said about love." -- Chris Leithiser

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