FredricRice asked this question on 5/5/2000:

My jaws hurt every time someone says the word "snap." I was told that Scientology could help me with this problem.

Is this true?

Thanks.

desertphile gave this response on 5/5/2000:

Yes, very much so! Scientology can help you with that!

The problem is not actually in your jaw, however. You only feel the pain in your jaw, but the actuall source of the pain is further down. Around the butt, to be a bit more precise. Actually, around your wallet area to be even more precise. Ah, um, actually, IN YOUR WALLET to be MOST precise. Are you beginning to see how Scientology can help you with that? Ah, yes, I see that you do. You're a bright lad. And much too bright for Scientology. If you are looking for relief from your jaw pain, maybe some "relief" of a few dollars to buy a family member (a sister, uncle, or brother, say) a nice Mexican dinner would work. That way you relieve the engramatic pressure from the butt, and also exercise the jaws. An elegant solution!

The average rating for this answer is 4.6.

FredricRice rated this answer a 5.

<-heh-> It all resolves around money, yes. The only problem inside of the Scientology cult is that other people still have money in their pockets.

But you know, this concept that Hubbard (and presumably good Scientologists in good standing) believes that humans evolved from clams seems to be an honest (though unusual) religious belief. I don't think Hubbard came up with this one to bilk the ignorant out of their money. He seemed to actually believe it himself.