CR> Naturally we oppose divorce and spousal abuse. In fact, I preach
CR> against those things in my church. However, divorcees and spouse
CR> abusers don't promote their behavior as an alternate lifestyle.
CR> BTW, how does one discover that one has been born into a
Interesting. You preach against the abuse of women? You must then preach against the teachings of your bible.
From the Old Testament
DT 22:13 If a man takes a wife and, after lying with her,
dislikes her  and slanders her and gives her a bad name,
saying, "I married this woman, but when I approached her, I did
not find proof of her virginity,"  then the girl's father
and mother shall bring proof that she was a virgin to the town
elders at the gate.  The girl's father will say to the
elders, "I gave my daughter in marriage to this man, but he
dislikes her.  Now he has slandered her and said, `I did not
find your daughter to be a virgin.' But here is the proof of my
daughter's virginity." Then her parents shall display the cloth
before the elders of the town,  and the elders shall take
the man and punish him.  They shall fine him a hundred
shekels of silverü and give them to the girl's father, because
this man has given an Israelite virgin a bad name. She shall
continue to be his wife; he must not divorce her as long as he
DT 22:20 If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the girl's virginity can be found,  she shall be brought to the door of her father's house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done a disgraceful thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father's house. You must purge the evil from among you.
DT 22:22 If a man is found sleeping with another man's wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel.
From the New Testament
1CO 11:3 Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is
Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ
is God.  Every man who prays or prophesies with his head
covered dishonors his head.  And every woman who prays or
prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head--it is
just as though her head were shaved.  If a woman does not
cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a
disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she
should cover her head.  A man ought not to cover his head,ü
since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the
glory of man.  For man did not come from woman, but woman
from man;  neither was man created for woman, but woman for
man.  For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman
ought to have a sign of authority on her head.
As in all the congregations of the saints,  women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says.  If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.
1TI 2:11 A woman should learn in quietness and full submission.  I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.  For Adam was formed first, then Eve.  And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.  But womenü will be savedü through childbearing--- if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.