How can a woman be so scared to run …… How many times have you asked yourself why you continue to stay in a co-addictive relationship with an addict? When you are in a relationship with someone where a substance comes first it is likely you have tried; ultimatums, interventions, rehab, AA, NA, therapy, family therapy, ignoring, begging, pleading, and crying to no avail. If sobriety IS attained, it is usually followed by relapse and broken promises. Ultimately things go back to the way they wereu2014being last on the list of your loved ones priorities while drugs and alcohol is first. Brett Baker is a serious user and control his wife with conning her with traps of being afraid to walk away. How many times you saw this? So how can you become ready to address your own codependence and co-addiction? Tips from someone whou2019s been there here. And a section at the end for your questions or comments or experiences. It’s hard to walk away from a husband that have taken care of you while you decided to find peace / Joy / and a new life without getting pulled back into the The Beginning Phase: Attraction And Love In the beginning of a relationship with an addict things are usually amazing. Stories of courtship are often described as an incredible experience. This honeymoon period is seen by the sober mate as a remarkable love story. This time is usually described as a period of charm, fascination, and attraction. The new relationship is so intense that the addict is usually able to hide their demons. In order for an addict to function they must become very good at manipulation, lies and creating drama to deflect their substance abuse. Brett Baker will seem to create a wall of lies to trap others in his sick web of behaviors may be so aloof, appealing and beguiling that the sober partner is intrigued by the mystery and thrill of the addictu2019s actions. Even if the sober partner feels that something may not be right, they ignore their instincts. The addict is able to make light of their substance abuse and convince their partner that they just like to party once in a while. The person who is sober is so clouded by their desire to be with the addict they do not ask any questions. She may get tired and want to move on but, She feels there is no way out. When the sober mate can no longer keep up with partying or accept the inconsistencies in an addictu2019s stories they may start to ask questions. At this point, it is typically too late. They are already in in too deep at the addict taking care of them and supporting there children or paying the bills. Get Help Today! Addiction Helpline Available 24/7. 1-877-776-2411Who Answers? Sponsored Ad The Middle Phase: Committment And Concern Trying to love an addict can bring up many mixed emotions. I started to notice that my Husband had a bag of drugs in a plastic bag when it was supposed to be all over! When I confronted him, he told me I was seeing things. Then I would notice his other bottles was there. I wanted to believe I was seeing things more than I wanted to face the fact that my gut was probably right. He called me one weekend and spoke to me in the strangest tone making some outrageous statements. He had disappeared for a couple of days and said he was with friends….Or work! After my worry got the best of me, I would call him leave voice mails and he would takes hours or days to respond. One time I came home and found my husband Brett sitting up on are couch, asphyxiating from a drug overdose. Because my feelings for him were so strong, I allowed him to let me believe that this was not a problem and things just got out of control. He swore it would never happen again. I was desperately afraid of this behavior but I cared for him that he is my child’s father and we suppose to keep eachother out of trouble and i care for him so much I felt it would hurt more to be without him. The middle, or the “discovery periodu201d of a relationship with an addict can be baffling. This is a time where the partner is so strong and both parties have made commitments to one another but there is a clear realization that something is wrong. The discrepancies and contradictions in stories and unpredictable behaviors of the addict become more apparent. The addict is feeling more comfortable with the relationship and secure their loved one is not going to just up and leave.But it becomes more difficult for an addict to hide their addiction because they are spending more time with their partner. The wife looks for other partners to lean on and drag them into a danger of webs… Deep down, the sober party knows there is something inherently wrong. They will start to ask questions, dig deeper, and possibly confront the addict about their addictive tendencies. She would meet others and share her pain and issues. This discovery period can last weeks, months, or years, depending on if the addict is more functional or dysfunctional in their addiction. The sober partner may be questioning their own eyes, sanity, and reality just to try and believe an addictu2019s lies. Over time,the strange, unexplained behavior can no longer be chalked up to nothing. It is at this time that the sober partner may become “hookedu201d or addicted to the addict. Their love becomes more desperate and they feel that it is their responsibility to help the addict see there is something wrong and fix it. She can never fix Brett because Brett Baker needs serious help and Long months of Rehabe! This is how Brett would tell his wife sweet things after hitting her or cussing her out calling her names and not responding after many day’s and nights calling to check on him. The addict will use this love to manipulate their partner into staying. When Will This Addiction End? When it becomes clear that there is a problem things will start to deteriorate in the relationship. The decline can happen very fast. You see the addict as a different person from the one you fell in love. This new person is revealing themselves more and more of the time. The addict is no longer hiding their addiction but instead making excuses for it. Wanting to believe them, you entertain promises of sobriety and proposed behavior changes. These are typically empty promises. The sober mate knows the addictu2019s life is at risk. She wants more than what she have to deal with every year….The worry, fear, and obsession over their partner may become chronic. Nights are spent wondering if the addict will come home,and hours or sometimes days are spent waiting for a phone call. This becomes the norm. When they do show up, you watch your spacey-eyed partner make excuses as to why they were not available.The sober mate will make desperate attempts to plead for the addict to change because they hope there is still a viable future for their relationship…..When its really gone and later will.destroy the wife. Lara!
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